trying to sleep
Just trying to focus on anything… Painting? No… music?, not helping… Maybe writing will help. Still can’t get him off my mind; why is my mind split in 2 pieces? I still care, but does he care? Maybe yes, or maybe no. trying to relax is impossible. The longer I have to control my urges the more I grow tired. And as I push past the exhaustion, the headaches return. I didn’t take ibphrophen because I can’t solely rely on that. It’s weird, I told myself yesterday that I was going to improve myself so I can get better; but then I fall again the next day. Why am I being hurt so much after what all has happened this year so far….And just as my favorite season is starting and all the plans in my head for fall are just completely shattered. There’s nobody else for me, I’ve messaged most the matches on the site and only he’s responded. Nobody else will take me. I’ve tried to cheer myself up my adding lights to my apartment, it is making it feel warmer, but It