Finally!

I feel this lump in my throat I think I made a mistake Of course my anxiety is having a field day I'm trying to steer myself in the right direction, but I don't have full control of the wheel. I don't want to go to sleep and wake up tomorrow, I want time to stop.   I don't want to die, I just don't want to deal with tomorrow. Fearing for the worst, my mind prepares, I'm grasping at straws trying to pull myself back into reality. I'm starting to getmore sleepy. I knew I will eventually fall asleep,  but is there something I can do...... of course not

Narcolepsy takes away your ability to live normally.  Before narcolepsy, my life wasn't perfect, but I was able to go through day to day life normally. I'd wake up tired, but after that it would be a normal day.   I would be thoroughly awake and actually have problems falling asleep at night.  I could do assignments ahead of time without question. But now, after narcolepsy, my life has been flipped upside down.  I rarely experience a day where I'm not fatigued.  I'll wake up normally, then after a few hours, I'll be tired and that will last the whole day.  I take stimulants and that decreases my fatigue a bit, but its still there. It started kind of suddenly for me.  At that time, I was exercising daily and it was December 2015.  I started feeling tired and I thought I was getting sick.   My fatigue never went away...  After that I went to doctors all the time to,fix it,but it wasnt until a year later I hot a sleep test and got the diagnos

A migraine aura is a strange thing.  You are doing your normal daily stuff and then you start feeling weird.  For me I have mild visual disturbances.  Today its my right eye.  During this aura my thought pattern is affected.  I'll be doing something simple and ill question myself for just a second. Its unknown how long this aura will last before tge pain starts.  Right now I have gone and got my emergency migraine meds. Most of my migraines don't have auras.  But the worst ones do. Usually i may have silent migraines.  All of a sudden I'll just stop and it feels as though I can't think clearly.  I will stand still until I remember or am reminded of what I need to do.  I have to sign off here.. My migraine coming.

This unknown anxiety has snuck up on me and has grabbed ahold.   I don't know why I'm anxious...but I am. I just have the urge to stop, and avoid everything. I just want to run.   I know it's not practical, but running from the stressor seems like my only option. I've tried relaxing, meditating, and just ignoring it but nothing keeps it away. I feel trapped in this anxiety bubble.  If I ignore it, I stay anxious..but if I give in, I'll feel like crap for doing so.. It's the double edged sword of anxiety my

Right now it feels as though i have been walking alongside a wall.  But instead of a concrete wall, it's a wall of thick invisible fog.   I know I can't see it, but i know it's there.    The tricky part is, i never know how close i am to wandering in, until it's too late.    The moment i get lost the atmosphere changes.  It morphs and darkens to something unknown,  but vaguely familiar.   The paths I traveled on disappear, so it seems as though i will never find them again.   While wandering for so long in the dark, i feel as though i might lose hope.  But something deep inside of me reminds me that i must not give up hope. I've been through this before, although the terrain is different, i know i will eventually find my way back. As soon as you feel the weight get lifted as you leave the darkness,  you hope and Pray nobody else gets lost In that dark, heavy landscape.